Epilogue - May 6

If a complete stranger were to peruse my Personal Writing Portfolio I hope that they would learn many things about me. For instance that I am very passionate about my work as an educator and that I take the future of the children who walk into my classroom (hopefully soon my counseling office) very seriously. I want each child to be successful, to learn about themselves, and to grow as a student, individual, and member of society. I also hope they recognize how passionate I am about my family because I tend to write about them a lot in my Personal Writing Portfolio because they have affected me personally in many ways.

As I worked through this Personal Portfolio with my students I also realized that it is easy for me to think of myself in both a positive and negative manner. It was easy to create an equal list of good and bad habits that I have. I think this tells me that I know myself pretty well and that I am content with the way in which I live my live. I know all the bad habits and things I do and as long as I continue to acknowledge them this means I am working on them.

My writing comes from a much different angle than that of my students who are only in high school. I hope that some of the topics I wrote about and things I shared about my self, beliefs, and values help them to develop their own unique definition of themselves. As their teacher, an adult, and a caring individual in their lives I hope that by participating alongside them in the Personal Writing Portfolio journey they have gained more respect for me and more respect for their own writing.  This assignment really helped me to clear my mind and focus on me, which I think everyone needs to do sometimes. With the prompts provided I was able to make my ideas, beliefs, values, experiences, concrete things rather than just things I say aloud or think in my head.

Reflecting back on what I wrote I would describe myself with these three words:

Passionate – I chose this word because as I mentioned before this entire project comes from my passion to be a great educator.

Honest – This portfolio for me was all about honesty and being open with not only myself but also my students and whoever else may read through blog during its life on the internet.

Deep – I tried to step outside my comfort zone while writing these responses and be as detailed and conscious of my inner self as I could so that I could find a deeper meaning within myself for my responses.

A Fine Line - May 3

Best THINGS:

1. My organization skills

2. I like to think I am a very good cook!

3. I am a very quick learner, no matter the material

4. I live life looking at the glass as half full!

5. I am a good leader.

6. I am very crafty and creative.

7. I am passionate about my job.

8. I don’t need a lot of money to be happy; I am good with family and friends.

9. My ability to “Go with the Flow” when things/plans change. I can adjust easily

10. I have high expectations

Worst THINGS:

1. My impatience with people.

2. I am a terrible driver.

3. I am bossy.

4. I have problems telling people “no.”

5. I don’t spend enough time with my Grandma Pat.

6. I love to shop just a little too much.

7. I am terrible at cleaning the kitchen, it is the worst job, and is why my kitchen is usually a mess.

8. Sometimes reading distracts me just a little too much and I get nothing done.

9. My high expectations sometimes make me expect too much from someone and I am disappointed.

10. I am and always have been a procrastinator. I truly believe my best work is done when I am crunched for time.

Valuable Lessons - May 2

1. If it is meant to be it will work itself out – Kyle and I had our ups and downs especially after we broke up for our college years but something inside me always made me believe the issues would eventually work themselves out and did they ever!

2. Stand up for yourself – There will always be cruel, mean people in this world who talk about you behind your back because they want to hurt you but what I learned in high school was that if you approach that person and confront them about their behavior it tends to stop the talking behind your back, at least temporarily.

3. Don’t make your life decisions based on someone else – It is not fair to you to make a life changing decision with someone else in mind. When making these types of decisions it is best to be selfish and make it for yourself and no one else.

4. Bridges are the first thing to ice when it rains and gets below freezing – I learned the hard pway to never trust my 4 wheel drive car to handle the ice for me when I hit a patch of black ice on a bridge one night, rolling my Montero and totaling it just before Christmas break and finals in college.

5. Always say “I love you” and “Goodbye” – You never know when someone will no longer be a part of your life so always leave letting them know exactly how you feel about them.

6. Try extra hard in high school and college will be a breeze – I worked my butt off in High School to make good grades and I was involved in everything and even held a part-time job I feel that because of this I was able to work easily through college because I was so used to working hard all the time, life just got simpler in college and I got to choose everything I wanted to do.

7. Get away from your hometown – This lesson includes getting away from the people and friends that you hang out with in your hometown. Go away for a while and experience things on your own. You will learn a lot about yourself and be a better person for it in the end even if you do decide to come back to your hometown.

8. Establish priorities early – I decided my sophomore year that sports weren’t for me, I was never going to play college ball but I was going to college so I decided to focus on the things that would help me achieve that goal and win scholarships, make a list of your priorities in life and goals you want to achieve because it will help you stay on track even when decisions are tough.

9. A good friend is someone who looks out for your best interest – True friends will be with you through all the good and the bad, they won’t leave you hanging when the going gets tough or make you do things that will get you into trouble, stop fooling yourself about these kinds of people and get real friends, people that will look out for you.

10. Always do things right the first time – Don’t waste time in your life messing things up on purpose or doing things halfway, always work hard to do your best at everything and complete it correctly the first time so you don’t have to go back and fix it later.

Creating a List and Checking it Twice - April 24

People who have influenced me:

1. My mom

2. My dad

3. Aunt Nin

4. Jackie Nelson

5. Marci Dowdy

6. Vicki Slagle

7. Susan Riggs

8. Kristi Perryman

9. Leslie Anderson

10. Tara Ramsey

Places that make me happy:

1. Running outside

2. Home

3. Bubble baths

4. My parent’s home

5. The country

6. The pool

7. The beach

8. My bed

9. Kyle’s Shoulder

Places I would like to go:

1. Jamaica again

2. Hawaii

3. Paris, France

4. Great Barrier Reef

5. Auschwitz

6. Rome

7. Las Vegas

8. Greece

Things in people that I like:

1. Positivity

2. Humor

3. Kindness

4. Caring

5. Passion

6. Good work ethic

7. Giving

8. Honesty

9. Sarcasm

10. Dreams

Things in people that I don’t like:

1. Bullying

2. Hatred

3. Negativity

4. Prejudice

5. Laziness

6. Big Headedness

7. Suck-Ups

8. Drama

Things that worry me:

1. Death

2. Car Wrecks

3. Health of my family

4. Not being able to have kids

5. Kids

6. Jobs

7.Getting hit by a car while running

Things I would like to know how to do:

1. Water Ski

2. Snow Ski

3. Photography

4. Swim better

5. Sew

6. Build a house

7. Fly fish

Things that have moved me:

1. Romantic movies

2. Random Acts of Kindness

3. My wedding

4. My Marriage

5. My Parents

6. Funeral of a Navy Seal

Ideas that intrigue me:

1. That you will pass a class if you don’t do the homework

2. That partying is cool

3. That people deliberately choose to be homeless

4. That you can get money from the government without a drug test

5. That our government is in debt and expects everyone else to get out of it

6. That there is life on other planets

  

My Personal Favorites:

1. Nicholas Sparks books

2. Running

3. Sleeping

4. Summertime

5. Dirt Track Races

6. Driving with the windows down and radio up!

7. Painting and decorating my house

8. Hanging out with family – especially the little cousins and nephews

Never Say Good-Bye - April 22

I never knew that this would be the last good-bye, hug and kiss, and I love you that I would tell my grandpa but everyday I am grateful for the opportunity I had to spend his last good day with him. Not knowing that it was the last time I would see him and talk with him makes this good-bye one of the hardest I have ever said. I can always think back to that day in February 3 years ago and wish I would have stayed longer and not rushed to basketball practice. Maybe I could have given him one more day if I had stayed because at the time I thought he was getting better. Little did I know, that day was his final burst of energy before he passed away two days later. At the time it wasn’t hard to say good-bye to him because I thought I would see him the next day in just as good of a mood. The hard thing about this good-bye is that I never thought it would be my last. I had always prayed that he would eventually overcome the alcoholism that plagued his body. We even talked about how he would sober up and be at my wedding one day, healthy and happy, but this past December all that I had of him was his rosary tied to my bouquet, my something old, but my never forgotten Pop Pop. The final day that I spent with Pop Pop though will always be cherished in my heart because I was lucky enough to have him on his last good day here on earth. He had recently gotten out of the hospital for retaining water because his liver was failing because of the years of drinking he had done. A couple of days later I went by to check on him and he needed to go to the store so I said I would take him but had to be at basketball practice by 7 that night so we would have to hurry. We slowly made our way to my car, he was using a walker. When we got to Flummerfelts he decided that he had to use the electric buggy and so we started piling in the groceries. He was hilarious on that buggy, backing up and making it beep, trying not to run people over as he went. I am pretty sure that he bought way too much food for himself but he was enjoying himself so I just went along with it. He was making plans to have a pot roast, some fried tacos, some potatoes, all these comfort foods. I like to think now that he spent so much time in the store so that he could spend more time with me., like somewhere inside him he knew he didn’t have much longer.  When I dropped him back off at home that evening he was in a wonderful mood and even got his pot roast started. I headed to basketball practice just a little late but I was okay with that. The next day I didn’t expect the phone call that came to tell me Pop Pop had been taken to Cox Monett because he was unresponsive. I would later find out that how I left him the evening before in his chair was how they found him, his roast was uneaten, and the hospice lady had found him incoherent the next day. We all knew that it wouldn’t be long so we said our good-byes to Pop Pop that evening. I still like to think that my trip to Flummerfelts with him was my final good-bye, it was the last time I got to see him as his old self. Pop Pop’s death still affects me today, especially when life-changing events occur that I would like him to be at, like my wedding. It breaks my heart to realize that my children will never know their great grandpa; they will only have the stories that we tell to keep his memory alive.